October 14, 2003 16:16 | Confession

How do I hate banks? Let me count the ways.

- "So, once I have this US money in my US account, I can simply transfer it to my regular checking account and it will be converted into CND funds?"
- "Yes"
- "And of course I can do this online?"
- "No."
- "What? Why not?"
- "Uuummm... well the computers aren't programmed that way..."

Prolonged stare, effort not to laugh out loud.

- "So how do i do this?"
- "Well you have to visit a branch... or call our service line.. or you can make a request via the website but that takes longest..."
- "I see and when I do this, a person will manually make a transfer/conversion?"
- "Well, yes... on the computer..."

Blink blink.

- "Ok, whatever. US cheques are held for how long?"
- "Personal cheques, 21 days."
- "That is totally unacceptable..."
- "Sorry, but you know these banks are far away, it takes time..."
- "Excuse me? Far away? Time?"
- "Oh wait... you have an RRSP with us... and a line of credit... I can reduce the hold to ten days..."

Blink blink.

Time, my foot.

Hello PayPal.

How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My sould can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and idle Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need; by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath.
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning


Gar! See, this is the sort of thing that happens when you have a cartel of 6 chartered banks - they don't have to be responsive to customers or technology trends at all. In the States, there are literally thousands of banks, credit unions, trust companies etc all vying for your dollar and they jump through hoops to give you good service.