Not Dead, Defective.
So it's not the Hard Drive, but rather, it seems, the right fan is misaligned. According to the technician at the Apple Certified place I went, usually the cause of such misalignment is sudden impact; someone dropped it.
Considering I got it, opened it, started it and immediately observed the problem, without dropping it...
Upon further visual inspection, oh boy... the thin metal strip above the latch is buckled and there is a nick in the plastic boarder. Oh and of course the lid/screen doesn't close flush, what a surprise.
So I have a choice: pick a fight with Apple and get it replaced (Joel says he'd back me on that claim, but that I'd likely not see a machine for upwards of two weeks) or just get the fan replaced (get it back by wednesday).
Bleh.
On the bright side, the guy ahead of me at the shop was told "repairing this 4 year old iBook would cost you more than buying a new one and would then still be far less reliable... go buy a new one." Tough break man.